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Riding Man. 8/27/2007

Someone delivered a book to me yesterday, and I shall be reviewing it in here soon(ish).

In the meantime, the reason I’ve been away was professional, personal and medical.  Work was getting in the way, with my daily grind consuming more and more of my slack time, and what little slack time I had left being eaten away with eating.  My personal affairs could be better, although they have much improved, and are continuing to improve slowly but surely.  To the point where I might actually consider thinking about perhaps possibly contemplating the nuance of a notion of a thought to buying another superbike.  No, there’s nothing wrong medically with me, except that the voices in my head have quieted down to a background murmur these days, and when they start raising the volume I can usually beat them off with the mental equivalent of a stick.

So, for those of you who came back, to find this place covered in dust, I am sorry, and can only hang my head in witnessing your disappointment.  I hope you will come back again, and I can continue to regale you with the Snark’s version of snarkitude.

I thank you for your patience.  But for now, for a while, the Snark is back.

Girl Friday. 8/10/2007

Picture courtesy of Shaolin Tiger.


A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again, and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently but your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”

Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got £9000 insurance compensation coming to you and we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s a thousand pounds an inch.”

The bloke perks up at this. “So the thing is”, the doctor says, “it’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five inches this time she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.”

The bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.

“So”, says the doctor, “Have you spoken with your wife?”

“I have.” says the fellow.

“And has she helped you in making the decision?”

“She has” says the bloke.

“And what is it?” asks the doctor …

“We’re going to renovate the kitchen.”