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Choices. 8/10/2007

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again, and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently but your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”

Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got £9000 insurance compensation coming to you and we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s a thousand pounds an inch.”

The bloke perks up at this. “So the thing is”, the doctor says, “it’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five inches this time she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.”

The bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.

“So”, says the doctor, “Have you spoken with your wife?”

“I have.” says the fellow.

“And has she helped you in making the decision?”

“She has” says the bloke.

“And what is it?” asks the doctor …

“We’re going to renovate the kitchen.”


1. HORNY ANG MOH - 8/10/2007

Ha!Ha! So true! Never talk money to a women! U will never get her agreement to buy what u want!Have a nice weekend!

2. Grant S. - 8/10/2007

Only fucking funny one so far!!11 :)
I would just get the response, “well, you spent it already on those pipes and suspension”, is there anything left for rubber? ;)

I am raging (long, shitty week) - when are we going to burn some rubber, pal. Instead of me just pounding on stupid tin cans in town. I need someone who knows the twisties, and the rules.

3. KY - 8/11/2007

hahahaha. WTF

4. ziniac - 8/13/2007

Poor guy…

5. buaya69 - 8/15/2007

no balls! :P